8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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