Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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