Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
