if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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