I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
