I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
