im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
