i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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