I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
