Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
