Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
