come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
