All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
