You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Found the puke drawer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
