The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He better not be in your backpack
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
