Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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