I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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