There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
