Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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