Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
