so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Never underestimate the power of titties
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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