I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
