Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
