There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
