You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
