Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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