If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
