we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
