I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
