My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
