Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
