I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
