Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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