He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
