i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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