no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
