Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
