i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
