I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think your dad took our porno
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
