We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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