I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
