i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
