There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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