At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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