After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
