Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
