i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
