SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
