When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
