just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
