I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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